KIRSTIE ALLEY PRESENTED WITH LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT SAG AWARD

HIGH TIMES: MOST OF MARLEY & ME'S STELLAR BOX OFFICE SHOWING DUE TO POTHEADS THINKING IT WAS A BOB
MARLEY BIOPIC

FEUDING OASIS REPLACES
LIAM GALLAGHER WITH
GALLAGHER

REMAKE OF '79 DRAMA GENERATING EARLY
2010 OSCAR BUZZ

'VANITY & COMBS'
MAKES DEBUT ON
FOX NEWS NETWORK
COMBS: "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT WE
WON'T STOP BEING FAIR AND BALANCED"

DRUNK ROSIE TRIES TO EAT WRONG P***Y,
GETS SLASHED BY CAT

WITH HIS BATMAN CONTRACT ABOUT TO EXPIRE, ROBIN EXPLORES
FREE AGENT OPTIONS

MARY KATE OLSEN'S FASHION SENSE SUSPECTED IN DEATH OF
MR. BLACKWELL

RIPA DROPS S-BOMB AFTER INCONTINENT REGIS DROPS DEUCE
ON LIVE TV

COLIN POWELL'S HIP HOP
CAREER NOT TAKING OFF
AS WELL AS HE HOPED

VLADIMIR PUTIN JOINS
COBRA KAI DOJO...

...PUTIN TAKEN DOWN BY
LARUSSO IN FINALS OF
ALL VALLEY KARATE
TOURNAMENT

OBAMA CHANNELS SAMMY DAVIS, JR.
WHILE CAMPAIGNING
IN VEGAS

RIHANNA MYSTERIOUSLY MORPHS INTO PRINCE

FLASHBACK 1988: McCAIN'S STANDUP ACT BOMBS ON
'THE TONIGHT SHOW'

JOE BIDEN AND BOB BARKER: SEPARATED AT BIRTH, REUNITED AT MEN'S WEARHOUSE

US WEEKLY MUM ON WHO THEY WILL ENDORSE FOR PRESIDENT

GUNS N' ROSES TO RELEASE NEW ALBUM ALONG WITH TIME MACHINE FOR LISTENERS TO GO BACK TO THEIR DAYS OF RELEVANCE

MCCAIN CHOOSES TINA FEY TO COMPLETE G.O.P. TICKET

|
|
REPORT: SIMON COWELL
IS BASTARD CHILD OF
MORK AND SCHNEIDER

MTV CASTS TRANSGENDER ROOMMATE IN REAL WORLD BROOKLYN HOUSE

AL QAEDA USING EPISODES OF 'THE HILLS' TO RECRUIT NEW TERRORISTS

OPRAH WINFREY WRITES
$10 TRILLION CHECK TO
ERASE NATIONAL DEFICIT

MADONNA DIVORCE FINALIZED; RITCHIE RICH

BEA ARTHUR LATEST
CELEBRITY TO HAVE
SEX TAPE RELEASED

MAN EATS 45 SLICES OF
PIZZA IN TEN MINUTES
TO SET WORLD RECORD

HOLLYWOOD CONSIDERS TIGHTENING 'WALK OF FAME' CRITERIA

CLAY AIKEN COMES OUT OF
IMAGINARY CLOSET

MAN MADE OF PLASTIC FINDS
TRUE LOVE WITH WOMAN
MADE OF PLASTIC

OPRAH CLAIMS NO HIDDEN AGENDA IN SNUBBING PALIN; RECOMMENDS NEW READING TO BOOK CLUB MEMBERS

FOX ANNOUNCES STRANGE
MID-SEASON REPLACEMENT
AIMED AT BIRD LOVERS

ROSIE O'DONNELL TO STAR IN "LAND OF THE LOST:
THE MUSICAL"

JONAS BROTHERS FIGHT THROUGH WRITER'S BLOCK, RELEASE "BBBMOP"; HANSON COULD NOT BE FOUND FOR COMMENT

BEATLE'S KILLER DENIED
PAROLE THANKS TO PLEAS FROM BEATLES' KILLER 
IRAN'S AHMADINEJAD TO GUEST HOST ON "LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY"; GELMAN OUTRAGED

WINNIE THE POOH DIAGNOSED WITH EARLY ONSET DIABETES;
EEYORE SADDENED
DAVE COULIER CONFIRMS
"YOU OUGHTA KNOW"
WRITTEN ABOUT HIM; PLEADS
WITH ALANIS TO CUT-IT-OUT

AS PRICE OF FUEL RISES, PRICE OF DIESEL BOTTOMS OUT

|
|
MADONNA CONFIRMS A-ROD
NEVER ASKS WHAT IS BEING
PUT INTO HIS BODY
|