July 30, 2010
 
OPRAH WINFREY WRITES
$10 TRILLION CHECK TO
ERASE NATIONAL DEFICIT




McCAIN, OBAMA SWAP JOKES
AT DINNER; WIVES AFTERWARDS




OBAMA APPOINTS SPEAKER
OF THE NUTHOUSE




WITH ONE PERCENT OF
PRECINCTS REPORTING,
MSNBC DECLARES
OBAMA WINNER

OPEC LEADERS CALL EMERGENCY MEETING AS OIL DROPS BELOW
$70 PER BARREL




IRAQI DOG'S JOURNEY TO U.S.
HITS SNAG AS PRESIDENT
BUSH QUESTIONS HIS
TRUSTWORTHIABILITY




BILL CLINTON REACTS TO
PALIN'S DEBATE PERFORMANCE




DEBATE MODERATOR'S
IMPARTIALITY QUESTIONED




FLASHBACK 1988: McCAIN'S STANDUP ACT BOMBS ON
'THE TONIGHT SHOW'



GOVERNOR SCHWARZENEGGER
DeVITOS PROPOSED CALIFORNIA BUDGET



NEARING BANKRUPTCY, AIG UNVEILS NEW LOGO



EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS EXCEPT THEIR FLOOD WALLS



PALIN CALLS FOR ALL DEMOCRATS TO WEAR ARMBANDS IDENTIFYING THEM AS LIBERALS



IKE IN LINE BEHIND HANNA OVER ATLANTIC



FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTINUES ITS UNBIASED COVERAGE OF DNC THROUGH CLOSED CAPTIONING


BILL CLINTON DUPED INTO MAKING DNC SPEECH IN MILE HIGH CITY; "I THOUGHT THEY SAID MILE HIGH CLUB"


CLOSER LOOK SHOWS HILLARY TOTALLY HAD HER FINGERS CROSSED WHILE PRAISING OBAMA AT DNC



COLEMAN / FRANKEN
RECOUNT COULD DRAG
ON FOR MONTHS



U.S. GOVERNMENT SET
TO ANNOUNCE NEW STIMULUS PLAN

 
JOE BIDEN AND BOB BARKER: SEPARATED AT BIRTH, REUNITED AT MEN'S WEARHOUSE



HURRICANE IKE SLAPS AROUND CUBA; TEXAS ASKING FOR IT NEXT



OBAMA SEEKS CHANGE


FLASHBACK 1998: OBAMA UNHAPPY WITH WIFE'S FASHION SENSE; DREAMS OF CHANGE




 
 
 
  
NY BUDGET CUTBACKS LEAD TO GOV. PATERSON
PULLING DOUBLE DUTY AS
AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER





CLINTONS ADOPT
NEW PUPPY,
NAME HER MONICA



GM DOWNPLAYS BANKRUPTCY TALK; RELEASES NEW
CHEVY DESIGN




FBI BEGINS BRIEFING
OBAMA ON COUNTRY'S
HIGHEST LEVEL SECRETS


McCAIN CONCEDES RACE TO OBAMA





AT LONG LAST, IT'S TIME
FOR AMERICA TO VOTE




FEMALE VOTERS USING SEX APPEAL TO SUPPORT THEIR CANDIDATE




PALIN PURCHASES TWO MORE CHILDREN AT WAL-MART; NAMES THEM FORKLIFT AND GRINDER 




COLIN POWELL'S HIP HOP
CAREER NOT TAKING OFF
AS WELL AS HE HOPED




BARBARA BUSH'S NEW
DRESS SENDS SUBTLE
MESSAGE TO SON



NEW BAILOUT BILL
FULL OF CRAPO





FX NETWORK SNAPS UP BASIC CABLE RIGHTS TO McCAIN'S FEATURE FILM DEBUT



FINAL TEXT MESSAGE FROM DOOMED CALIFORNIA TRAIN OPERATOR REVEALED




LEHMAN ACCEPTS BUYOUT BID FROM LOCAL ENTREPRENEUR


MCCAIN/PALIN DANCE; PALIN LEADS


OPRAH CLAIMS NO HIDDEN AGENDA IN SNUBBING PALIN; RECOMMENDS NEW READING TO BOOK CLUB MEMBERS



BILL CLINTON SPEAKS OUT IN FAVOR OF OFF SHORE DRILLING



PALIN DISPUTES DEMOCRATS' CLAIM THAT SHE LACKS EXPERIENCE TO BE VP



PALIN'S DAUGHTER SET TO MAKE BIG SCREEN DEBUT



MCCAIN CHOOSES TINA FEY TO COMPLETE G.O.P. TICKET



IOWA GYMNASIUM PREPS FOR LIBERTARIAN NATIONAL CONVENTION


WILFORD BRIMLEY:  MAGICAL ALIEN COCOON IS SECRET TO MCCAIN LIVING PAST 200 YEARS OLD


BILL CLINTON DODGES FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT


 POPULAR REGGAETON ARTIST ENDORSES MCCAIN;
SHAGGY: "IT WASN'T ME" 




   MADOFF TO BE
INDICTED IN $50 BILLION
FONZI SCHEME



TOM DASCHLE'S GLASSES MAKE A STATEMENT...
"HELP ME!"



ILLINOIS GOVERNOR AUCTIONS OFF U.S.
SENATE SEAT ON EBAY




GASEOUS BUSH ISSUES PARDON TO HIMSELF



OBAMA OFFERS HILLARY
JOB AS SECRETARY
OF STATE




OBAMA NAMES KAL-EL
SECRETARY OF DEFENSE




REPUBLICANS FEARFUL
OF BARACK OBAMA'S
MARXIST AGENDA



McCAIN LIVES UP TO NICKNAME IN FINAL
PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE




BUSH SMITTEN WITH ITALIAN LOTHARIO BERLUSCONI; "I'M
LIKE A GIDDY SCHOOLGIRL
WHEN HE'S AROUND"




OBAMA CHANNELS SAMMY DAVIS, JR.
WHILE CAMPAIGNING
IN VEGAS



IN AN EFFORT TO APPEAL TO YOUNGER VOTERS, McCAIN USES WWE STYLE ENTRANCE TO DEBATE 




CONGRESS POSTPONES
BAILOUT HEARINGS TO
FINALIZE A CAPELLA
VERSION OF MR. SANDMAN




PRESIDENT BUSH ANNOUNCES
WE ARE NOT IN A RECESSION,
PAUSES FOR LAUGHTER



OBAMA CALLS AAA IN HOPES OF FOSTERING CHANGE



GOING GREEN? McCAIN RECYCLING BUMPER STICKERS FROM HIS 1908 PRESIDENTIAL RUN



VIDEO FOOTAGE OF FANNIE MAE TAKEOVER RELEASED
McCAIN / PALIN ACTION
FIGURES HIT SHELVES



US WEEKLY MUM ON WHO THEY WILL ENDORSE FOR PRESIDENT



NEW ORLEANS PRAYING LEVI'S DON'T BREAK



OBAMA AND McCAIN COMPARE CAUCUS
IN RESPONSE TO OBAMA'S TEXT MESSAGE, MCCAIN TO ANNOUNCE VP CHOICE VIA PONY EXPRESS
DOCTORS ADVISE MCCAIN TO CHOOSE A RUNNING MATE HE CAN KEEP UP WITH
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